January 2011
8 posts
8 tags
The Calming Effect of Change
The propensity of life to change amazes me.
I don’t know how it still amazes me. I’ve seen myself transition and transcend countless situations, people, places. I’ve watched myself from above as aboslute truths have been shattered and inkling doubts turn to solid fact. My experience has told me: perspective is fleeting.
Yet, when it happens, my lungs still get punched out.
...
9 tags
Adult(erous)
I felt like an adult once. Just once.
I was sitting at my kitchen table, sipping coffee and writing an article for a magazine while my Mexican lover slept in the other room.
While there’s so much more to that story, condensing it into one sentence makes it sound like a piece in a Lifetime movie plot. Again, it just goes to show how the manipulation of words can change a single event. For...
8 tags
Stage Six Cancer
Currently, I live in my own personal hell. I am 22 years old. I am a waitress. I live in my parents house.
Those sentences may read that way, but how they resonate is like this:
I have stage six cancer. I will not recover. They are removing my bones one by one.
I never thought I’d live in my hometown again. Silly me. I should have never forgotten about life’s tendency to change...
9 tags
Let it Bleed
My worlds are colliding and I’m spinning in the aftermath. There is only one equation that seems to matter in my physical world right now, and it is this:
NC < NYC.
Simply, my North Carolina internships don’t mean shit to people in New York City offices.
I forgot about how North-easterner’s tend to think anyone below the Mason Dixon line lack a single tooth in their...
8 tags
A Lot of Movin'
This is my current local:
Well, sorta. It takes me 15 minutes to drive to Philadelphia from my quite little suburb town. But I didn’t always live in a stacked container outskirt, no… I once lived in a place that looked like this:
And this:
In fact, where I lived was so picturesque, Nicholas Sparks legitimately lived there. Nicholas Fucking Sparks.
But ah, those days...
9 tags
The Trouble With Honesty...
Maybe part of the reason I feel shame when I write things honestly is because I do a lot of things I’m not proud of. Sometimes, I’m a fucking shit show.
I mean, my favorite people in the world are ones I have conversations like this with:
“Yeah, we’d take surprise lines.”
“Surprise lines?” I ask.
“Yeah, we’d put lines of ecstasy next...
8 tags
Fuck it.
I wish I could write about myself honestly. I feel it’s one of the things holding me back, not being able to just let go and feel something as it is. It’s like this level of shame sweeps over me. I start to think that nothing is good enough and if it isn’t calculated and making complete logical sense, then it must be wrong.
Which in some cases, might not be such a bad thing....
8 tags
Advisory.
I’ve gotten advice before. Who hasn’t?
But the thing about advice it being able to tell when it’s decent and when it’s bullshit. I’ve heard the entire spectrum. Bits you take to heart, snippets you halfway adhere to and scraps you toss away with the latest Real Housewives memory.
There have been two advisory fragments that really lodged in my aorta.
The first...
