A Thank You.
There have been times I feel like I’m writing simply to make my own fingers ache. I wonder, is this just me unwinding? Does anybody give a fucking shit? How in the hell am I supposed to be a ‘writer’ if all I’m doing is blogging? I roll my eyes at people who blog - now I’m one of them?
But, keeping this blog has proved to be the best thing I’ve ever done. For one, it keeps me writing. And in this game, writing and writing and writing until your blind is what will make you better. It also brought me to something I can be proud of, something that made me feel I have a right to call myself “writer” - Dangatorium. Suddenly my writing had a purpose and I found something I was desperately floundering for: guidance. I found a mentor in my brilliant editor. Someone who wasn’t some old creative writing class buddy, but an actual seasoned professional who can ask me “what the fuck are you doing?” and “why the fuck are you putting that colon there?” to make me wrack my brain for the answer. It helps me learn. Helps me grow. And without Dangatorium, I would have never met Roxy.
Roxy is the creator of an arts e-zine called BOHEMIANFOX. She is someone who wrote words about me I would have never conceived. She called me inspirational, said she admired me. She praised me and I just thought, “me? The girl who has done so many things that make me shake my head in embarassment? I’m inspirational?”
It made me want to keep going. It makes me think if I just don’t quit, maybe I’ll reach someone else out there. And really, that’s all I want. I want to make people realize their flaws or situations are universal, and no matter how hopeless or weird or dumb they may feel the only thing they need to realize is - this is normal.
So thank you. Not only to Dangatorium (here’s lookin’ at you, Bill Dixon) and BOHEMIAMFOX (Ms. Roxy), but to all of you who follow me. People who trust me to bring them words that could mean something to someone, somewhere. Without you all… who knows where I’d be.